User talk:RachetCreepypasta
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the File:13391164 1224480880935405 2080734329 n.jpg page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! SoPretentious (talk) 02:32, June 22, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:46, June 22, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:46, June 22, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:50, June 22, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:50, June 22, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:51, June 22, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:29, June 23, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story I'm deleting them because they are incredibly low quality. It really doesn't seem like it with all the capitalization, punctuation, wording, and story issues. Capitalization: "Kate use to be a Girl (girl)" You fail to capitalize sentences properly. "ditch. once she went home she killed", "mouth. she died of a blood loss.", "stitched. now she's roaming her school to get revenge on the people who bullied her.", "her. her first victim was the girl who fought her and bullied her, Samantha.", etc. "Sabrina said "please (Please) don't kill me I am sorry for doing all those things to you"" Punctuation: You forget to use punctuation in dialogue/messages properly. "Sabrina said(comma missing) "please don't kill me(comma missing) I am sorry for doing all those things to you(comma missing)" but", "it said(:) "YOUR FIRST"and" You also forget to apostrophize possessive words and contractions. "Kate('s) second victim", "Kate took Samantha('s) eyes", etc. Wording: "Kate use to be a Girl" Awkward wording. "once she went home she killed her self by taking her eyes off and she painfully stitched her mouth.", "she was place in a coffin for her funeral", "Kate took Samantha eyes and cut them into pieces.", "Kate second victim was another girl who bullied her", etc. Your=possession, you're=you are. "it said "YOUR FIRST"" If English isn't your first language, I would strongly suggest getting someone who is fluent to help you if you intend to post stories to this site. Story issues: The story is incredibly generic. It feels like you're trying to copy every single OC/CPC story in existence. A kid is bullied, gets deformed/mutilates themselves, kills people. There really isn't any build-up or emotion put into this character to explain their decisions. "once she went home she killed her self by taking her eyes off and she painfully stitched her mouth." Who exactly stitches their mouth shut and removes their eyes as a means of committing suicide. It seems like you had that happen only to coincide with the "Eyeless Jaspi" OC you tried to post last night (which had the same issues). I'm sorry, but there is a lot wrong here and I really don't think the story is salvageable. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:48, June 23, 2016 (UTC) I'm sorry, but I'm wondering if you're old enough to use this site. The errors I see here are indicative of a child's level of education. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:42, June 23, 2016 (UTC) :You do realize that threatening another user is a ban-able offense as it is in violation of wiki's terms of use? Do so again and you will be given a lengthy ban. Last warning. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:45, June 23, 2016 (UTC) ::LOL, good job at deflecting and deluding yourself, surely the fact you've cranked out three stories with writing so abysmal that I wasn't sure if you just didn't have a grasp on the English language or you were seven years old (due to your fundamental writing errors and insistence that fictional characters are real and totes angry) doesn't factor into this at all or your insistence on not improving or even trying to correct the most basic of errors. Fun fact: when I'm uncertain of a story, I get help at the writer's workshop, I accept that I need to improve and work on my writing. I hope one day you learn to do the same. Best of luck to you in the future. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:30, June 24, 2016 (UTC)